anyone else like me out there ???

have you ever thought like "shit i wonder if anybody else is like me" I find myself asking myself this all the time its like a sentence imprinted in my brain and its stuck on repeat and i cant stop it. I find myself in weird situations, switching my decisions so quick people don't even know what hit me but then again I'm like shit i don't even know what happened. It's like i like a nigga today tomorrow i wake up and hes completely erased from my brain.. I keep all my feelings inside, Idk never been the emotional spill type so people think I'm cold-hearted.. funny though cause i never used to be this way. so im guessing your heart is like food the day its made its so banging on some finger looking good and the next day you heat it up and it don't taste the same but you eat it cause you have to anyway. Now that I think of it Ive always hated food the next day lol but i guess that's how it works. Your heart starts out fresh and then you meet your first love and BOOM you welcome your first heartbreak and its like putting a broken record together it will never play the same. so my emotions are always kept inside. everyone thinks that i have no feelings but I'm no different I'm still a woman. My emotions run deep difference between me and most is they stay kept deep inside of me. As i sit back and think I dont remember the last time i cried.. it was so long ago. It takes a lot to break me down. The last thing i remember being sad about is missing a paper due at 11 and i submitted it at 11:01 got a 5 out of 50 now that was some heartbreaking shit. I talk to myself more then anyone else in this world.. I could be driving to work and re-live a conversation, a phrase, a situation that was said or that made me feel some type of way in my head. I'll change it around in so many different aspects to see what could have been a better outcome, and this is not just ones or twice a wk but everyday that i breathe. I'll be at a light and imagine my life 10 yrs from now its funny cause i dont worry about today but my tomorrow so much that i think that's why I do so good in school and work and so bad in getting in a relationship. I haven't came across a man who i could see spend the rest of my life with, and thats fine with me I love myself enough to make up for his absence until the day we meet. i could be completely happy one min then i felt mad, sad then happy all in a period of just 10 minutes. I could like somebody so hard and never admit it. I could hold back on strong feelings and walk out cause i know ill end up leaving him heartbroken and those are never my intentions. Dont get me wrong when i do fall in love im the ride or die type. idk much about the dying part anymore lol but last time i was in one thats how i used to be. Its been so long im not sure if thats how its still supposed to be. I could go through a heartbreak so bad and it wont hit me till a week later cause im trying to process my emotions and put them together in my head to decide how should i go about my reaction towards it. I could be sad but nobody would know, cause a smile is always across my face only time you dont see one is in math class and thats cause im concentrating hard as hell on the equation that was put up, and aint shit happy about that. I always wonder about the oddest thing we could be talking about how the grass is green and then ill pop out and say i wonder if the plants and trees and grass all talk to each other and thats why you see the winds shift them and theyre expressing there feelings. I hate watching tv. I believe the media is corrupt and so is the government and the banks is our biggest enemy. I could stay up all night reading about the masons, illuminatis, and theories that famous phylosophers have written. I find horoscopes to be fun to read about, and research what egyptians thought it was the way our earth changed ages. & im an aquarius the aquarius age is said to be coming soon so i guess we gonna start seeing some change for once. I wonder about the millions of other living things that live in our universe that people are to ignorant to realize. I could be in a public place and observe people families, kids, couples and imagine what there life is like on a mundane basis. its funny cause i feel so bad for people without even knowing them, for example i could see a construction man on his lunch break looking exhausted and tired and hot and wished his life didnt have to be that way. Not even knowing if hes a rich man and construction is his passion. Idk Ive always wished to be able to step out of my body and let my eyes watch me as i go about my day and wonder what i would think about myself if i wasnt me. does that make sense to you guys? idk life is weird itself so why not have someone as unique as me living in it. and to all those who feels this way too. we probably making history and are going to change the world one day. so fuck it ! we're just different and to those who judge us if they aint providing us with shit but opinions stfu! they werent asked for and very much not needed.